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Space Ghost Files IG complaint over non-selection for Space Command
VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE — Space Ghost, the interstellar crime fighter and talk-show host, has filed a complaint with the Department of Defense Inspector General over his non-selection for a command...
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Baby boomer jet realizes it may never be able to retire
MINOT, N.D. – After reviewing its Thrift Savings Plan statement and a growing pile of maintenance bills, a B-52 bomber broke down, realizing it would likely never be able to retire, sources confirmed...
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Oh, no! This bridezilla wants her bridesmaids in full MOPP 4
LUKE AFB, Ariz.—Tech. Sgt. Ashley Ferris’ bridesmaids are reeling after finding out what they would be wearing to her wedding this summer. In a sassy group message, Ferris revealed they would all need...
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Drone pilots now authorized to telecommute
LAS VEGAS—Drone pilots will now be able to strike targets anywhere in the world from the comfort of their home. Citing increased flexibility for remotely piloted aircraft operators, Defense Press...
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USAF changes name to ‘US As F*ck’
WASHINGTON — After 71 years, the U.S. Air Force is changing its name, the U.S. As Fuck (USAF) announced today. The world’s premier air and space force decided on the change in response to surveys...
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JAG officer loses argument in food court
LANGLEY AFB, Va. — Air Force lawyers suffered a major embarrassment yesterday, after Judge Advocate General Capt. Jim Hansard was found guilty in a food court of cutting the line at Subway. Following...
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Lindsey Graham volunteers to remain behind in Afghanistan and fight Taliban...
GREENVILLE, S.C. –Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) released a video statement on YouTube today in which he assured voters he would stay in Afghanistan and fight the Taliban after the last U.S. forces...
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Texas A&M Corps of Cadets found guilty of 143 years of stolen valor
COLLEGE STATION, Texas – The student body of Texas A&M University was rocked today by news that their Corps of Cadets is guilty of stolen valor and has been for 143 years. Authorities reached a...
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Aircrew hoping congressional subpoena will move travel voucher along
ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Members of the 249th Airlift Squadron are excited about an investigation into their official travel at President Donald Trump’s hotel in Scotland. While the outcome could be...
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VA Secretary calls department’s suicide hotline after latest scandal
WASHINGTON – Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert Wilkie called his own department’s suicide hotline last night after yet another in a long line of scandals rocked the Department of Veterans Affairs last...
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Space Command GS-15: Nobody leaves orbit until they complete DTS training
PETERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Colorado – Regardless of its recent official activation, U.S. Space Command (SPACECOM) operations will not be “go for launch” until the force masters space travel regulations,...
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General not allowed to take emotional support mistress on deployment
JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, Texas – A heartbreaking scene unfolded today at an Air Mobility Command terminal when staff told a general he would not be able to deploy with his emotional support mistress....
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Minot AFB airmen take the Tetris Challenge with all the equipment they lost...
MINOT AFB, N.D. — Air Force leaders are applauding a group of airmen for using the popular “Tetris Challenge” to show how much shit enterprising security police forces can lose in just one year. The...
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Heartwarming! Airman surprises girlfriend by returning early from 8-hour shift
RANDOLPH AFB, Texas — Across America, patriotic hearts beat proudly for our men and women in uniform. And in the age of the internet, everyday citizens can get the warm-and-fuzzies every time they see...
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Leadership class changes everyone’s lives after one guy just keeps talking
YORKTOWN, Va.— In an amazing display of brilliance, a leadership training course held at the Coast Guard Yorktown Training Base on Monday went over time when one super smart and articulate man rose...
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NORTHCOM cubicle farm grows record number of colonels
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — The 2019 growing season produced a bumper crop of cubicle colonels, U.S. Northern Command announced today. “We’re proud to report that this year’s harvest resulted in a 12...
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Hotels in Iran deemed unsuitable for Air Force deployment needs
TEHRAN, Iran — An Air Force feasibility study has revealed that Iran has no hotels that meet the high standards for housing U.S. Air Force airmen should they be deployed in response to the country’s...
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